In my searching for answers during this time, I have come across different models about grief and suffering. I’ve chosen this one from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, for it’s simplicity.
Suffering and grief is not the same for everyone, but everyone
experiences it.
Dr Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identified (at least) 6 stages of the grief process. Whereas I am loathed to apply clinical analysis to such trauma, her stages provide a useful scaffold from which to discuss the reality of the grief of divorce, or indeed of any loss. Each of our sufferings can be so different, even if I shared with you my reality, it may still be a far cry from what you are going through:
- Denial and isolation;
- Anger / frustration;
- Bargaining;
- Depression;
- Acceptance;
- Hope.
Each of our sufferings can be so different, even if I shared with you my reality, it may still be a far cry from what you are going through…
If you are not keen on my words, may I use our Lord and his experiences?
We don’t all experience grief and suffering the same
My experience, and that of others, I suspect, is that these processes don’t happen in the order given, and there is probably a repeat or two of each stage of suffering. I have loosely applied these principles, my take, on the suffering of our dear Lord Jesus on his approach to the cross from John. In our tear-filled moments of despair, we can turn to Him, because he does understand, and know what it is like. His example offers hope and compassion in the darkness. I hope these thoughts offer some insight for those special people who would seek to help those grieving. Again, it is not the same for everyone, but you will certainly get the point.
I pray also, that maybe in some small way it may encourage someone reading and looking for help, any help.
